By Mark E. Smith
I’ve just returned from my daughter’s first college visit. It was actually a bit more than a typical college visit that high school seniors do because she’s being recruited by the school based on her achievements. As a dad, I see aspects like a waived application fee, streamlined early application, early acceptance and a scholarship as all the reasons to go there – plus, it’s a great school in a great part of the country for internships and a subsequent career. However, there’s a more profound reason why my daughter is leaning heavily toward this particular school: she’s wanted.
So many people want; yet, in most circumstances, wanting isn’t emblematic of success. However, being wanted has everything to do with success. As I’ve told my daughter, anyone can want to go to any college and apply, hoping to get in. However, the ultimate success is in being sought out based on merit, where a college wants you.
The realized value of being wanted instead of simply wanting, applies to so much of life. Top executives never apply for jobs – they’re recruited. When we’re in the most fulfilling relationships, we’re desired by our partners. Among the greatest successes in life involve being wanted, not just wanting.
However, there’s a caveat to being wanted, one that I continue seeking to instill in my daughter. Being wanted has nothing to do with entitlement, but everything to do with unyielding dedication and responsibility. You earn being wanted by being extraordinarily dedicated, and then you honor being wanted by striving even more. In my daughter’s case, she’s being wanted by a college because she’s worked hard in high school, but now she must work even harder to honor the college’s recognition. The recruited executive can’t rest once he’s landed among the country’s top jobs, but must honor it by working even harder. And, in our relationships, we must always honor our spouses with love and attention, where desire is unwavering.
I’ve been fortunate to experience the privilege of being wanted via the writing portion of my career. I used to have to hustle and try to secure paid writing jobs. However, I’m fortunate that now editors come to me with writing assignments. However, tight deadlines and working late nights are par for the course — again, the privilege of being wanted must be honored with dedication or it won’t last. Being wanted means being unyielding in what you do.
Wanting is great, especially when there’s effort behind it to achieve a goal. However, being wanted is emblematic of ultimate success because it’s where dedication intrinsically leads our lives to new levels of potential and opportunity.