WheelchairJunkie Founder Dies, Age 40

Posted: November 5, 2010 in Short-Short
Tags: , , ,

Mark E. Smith, commonly known as “The WheelchairJunkie,” age 40, dropped dead, then died October 30 – an absurdly redundant act on par with his writing. Born with cerebral palsy, Mark went on through higher education – though his standards were quite low – and built a career in the wheelchair industry, where he once noted, “Working with wheelchairs isn’t exactly brain surgery, which is a good thing – my poor coordination an muscle spasms can’t kill anyone.” Author and co-author of 5 books, and countless columns, articles, and essays, Smith was also a speaker and personality regarding disability issues, achieving a level of fame that only he could explain (suggesting that he wasn’t famous at all). Dedicated to charity, Smith gave a little money to a lot of organizations, which is strikingly unimpressive when compared to giving a lot of money to a lot of organizations. Smith was known by most as a forever jovial character, except when he occasionally drank, upon which he was both jovial and vomiting, a juxtaposition that both drew and repelled friends. He is survived by his beloved daughter, two ill-behaved bulldogs, and a woman who will deny ever having married him. At the deceased’s request, no service will be held, as he “has a better place to be that day” – presuming that The Pearly Gates is wheelchair accessible, and Saint Peter lets him in. When asked to comment on Smith’s death, those throughout the disability community had a common, poignant response: “I’m sorry, I don’t know who he was.”

Comments
  1. Drew Y. says:

    A friend of a friend told me about Mark and I was sad to hear of his passing. I have to say I may never understand why he loved luring and trapiping cats into a sleeping bag with him while nude, I guess it takes all kinds. I also wonder if the world will finally figure out that his “disability” was a fiction to get better parking. He never had me fooled.

  2. Liz says:

    I’m glad Mark’s still communicating with us from the grave!

  3. Topolino Joe says:

    Mark? Mark? How was death? How was death? Hello? Hello? Echo! Echo! Is this redundant? Is this redundant?

  4. Pottaroo says:

    Do they have electricity in Heaven to charge the chairs??

  5. Anonymous says:

    debra in FL just heard of Mark’s passing and is grieved. Without Mark’s telling me that the permobil wheelchair was the Cadillac of power chairs, I never would’ve known what to buy. I miss his reviews horribly.

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